My Friend Is A Porn Star.



Last month when my friend Liva, who works for a foreign based porn company came down to India (wait. don't waste time Google'ing her name. She is known by a different screen name in the industry), we met at a friends party and dined together. There, I introduced her to few of my close male friends and they were all drooling behind her since then. 



Few years back when Liva entered the industry, except for her fiancé, rest of her family and friends were completely uninformed. It was few days before her first movie release, she gave me a call and screamed out in excitement:
"Hei ! Guess what? I did it. I'm what I wanted to be. A porn star” I froze. She continued. “3 months of real hard work and finally it's complete and ready for release.”
By then I had regained my senses and I realized that this is in fact real and happening.
“Hey nut-case, speak up. You too shocked like my dad and mom? ”
“Whaaaat? You told your parents too?” I blurted out in surprise.
“Well ya, I did. I went home yesterday. We sat together at coffee.”
“And they still let you inside home?”
“Yea. Why would they keep me out. I only chose a profession. That doesn't change me as an individual.”
“This is strange. So they told you can go do it again?”
“ Sort of. Dad was shocked and mom almost fainted when I made it clear to them. After the initial splatter, I could convince them that this is what I wanted to do in life and I'm happy. And then they were Ok with it by dinner. It's all my happiness that they care for.”

There was nothing more I had to ask. I congratulated her, still not sure if she was right or wrong with her decision. Living in a country where we can't even think of such a career, I'm in no position to question her for choosing a legal career in a country that promote porn industry. And if I did, it will be like telling Nigella Lawson, the queen of food porn, not to host the show because it's bad to eat fatty food in my country.

Two weeks later, I got a courier delivered at my door. It was form Liva. The accompanying note read, “The grand release is due next week. Mailing you a pre-release copy of my movie. Do let me know what you think.” That CD is still in my drawer, seal unopened. Not that I don't like porn. It's just that I somehow can't convince myself at watching her in it and I don't think I ever will be able to. She knows it too.

From Liva's excitement, the mail and our subsequent meetings, one thing I could make out for sure: She likes being a porn star. Apart from the fortune she earns, she is happy, her family and fiancé have accepted her as a one. So there is no reason why I should advise her against it. As long as she perceives it as an achievement, I too will and I'm happy for her. After all it's her life and she has every right to live it her way.

Coming back to the party, there is this cranky guy amongst us, whom we call Pappu, who can ask any question to any person at any odd time. And with Liva, he went straight to the point.
“ How much do you take for one shot?”
“ 75K US dollars, how much ever that is converted to Indian rupees.” She replied (thinking he wanted to know her remuneration per movie)
Pappu pulled out a pen & started to calculate on a tissue paper. Counting the number of zeros from right to left, he let out his desperation: “Oh! I cant even think of it.”


He slowly left our table and never returned back. Later that evening, I over-heard him speak to himself, “I must either control my wild desires or I must change my career. Can't even earn enough in 5 years to afford her for a night. Oh God, please let the dollar value fall.”

It was obvious that not just Pappu, but each and every one there who knew Liva's profession was trying their best for a chance to dip their fork into her plateThough there were times that I felt uncomfortable when a few crossed the limit with their words, she eased me by laughing at the dirty sarcasm. She tried to give the amount of respect they were due though in reality, they didn't diverse any.

But why? Why did they think she would sleep with them for money in the first place?  When she had the courtesy to respect all men present there why couldn't they do it too? My friend is neither a commodity for sale nor a prostitute, but a lady who pursued her dreams. She definitely deserved a better treatment.
Indiblogger


60 comments:

  1. Hey even i am speechless. I appreciate her parents and fiance who accepted her. well many of us cant perceive our dreams because our parents dream of making us a doctor or engineer, In such prevailing situations, reading abt this, i am astonished .. well I appreciate her and you too

    Good luck to your friend

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  2. a totally unwanted post..if she wanted to be a pornstar..let her be...
    wats the big deal?..there are loads of pornstars in the industry who earn big money....

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  3. Interesting. Its always good to know about people whose chose a profession of their choice (however bizarre) and went ahead with it to finally reach success. What matters most is the fact that they are happy with their life. Period. :)

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  4. wow... definitely I can see why they/you/her parents would be stunned by her enthusiasm but really when you think of it - abroad I guess it is a profession. It isnt likely that the women are forced into it by an evil whip wielding pimp. I do appreciate her guts telling her parents though..

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  5. Wow, thats really cool.. I never really gave a second thought to a porn star till now.. its ony when u realise that she is also somebody's friend/fiance, u get tht humanitarian side to it...

    great to knw tht ur fiend has an excellent support system of parents n fiance..

    great perspective, LeoPaw :)

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  6. I don't know why, but I am reminded of a dialogue from the movie Dirty Picture (I've not yet watched it, seen only the promos)"Jab sharafat ke kapde utarte hein, tab sab se zyaaada maza toh shareefon ko hi aaten hein".

    But to be frank, I'd never thought that it would be someone's ambition to star in a Porn movie... And yes, that does not mean that she/he is a commodity...

    A unique post, to say the least.

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  7. Enticing...stimulating and very well written! I 100% agree with the concluding paragraph!

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  8. Very interesting...loved reading this post...to each of us to our own...your friend seems like a gusty lady!

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  9. we do have trouble accepting porn as someone's professional interests.

    I recently read a book, a true story goes about a sex worker. I wasn't expecting it to make any difference, why, I am so tuned to thinking it is a demeaning and miserable life. it is interesting how it changes our thinking. the book and now your post.

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  10. I really appreciate you effort.. But we need to accept the fact that not everyone will think alike :)

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  11. choosing a profession would never change anyone as an individual and it applies to everyone including prostitutes (not sure if that's a derogatory term); however, it could carry some social stigma even in western countries.

    and i totally agree with u, she deserved a better treatment.

    but dollar value should fall :D

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  12. This is like watching Bizzare Foodson TLC. Am shocked at the way people perceive things! Have we gone from being intellectuals to idiocrats??? Where is morality today???

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  13. Interesting read...
    glued with that :)
    Some interesting people do exists.

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  14. I always say and will keep saying this, We are so judgmental about someone from what he does as a profession and how much money he flaunts, that we forget the basic need to communicate as a Human is RESPECT, eg., you call any office, talk to the receptionist and show her your attitude, if u find the boss, sudden change of tone and voice??? Y so.. we all do it, intentionally or unintentionally. Just my 2 cents. wonderfully written post.
    Love Ash.

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  15. Well.. at first everybody would freak out listening that somebody chose porn films as their career.. However, it good to follow you dreams.
    Its nice that she stood by what she wanted...

    P.s. Thanks for stopping by my blog.. it means a lot to me :)

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  16. A long way for us as a society to travel before we can sync our hearts and our minds and our actions, I guess.

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  17. Yes, she is gutsy. She knows her boundaries and she respects herself . Hats off to her.
    The problem is in the minds of people,. They can't accept to interact with her normally.

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  18. It took me quite sometime to make an opinion on such a strong and yes I can say controversial topic. In a country called India where even a working-women is taboo (in some parts of country) a woman choosing to take porn movies as a career is like social crisis.

    I understand in others countries, this could be legal, and there would a lot of people (of both sexes) choosing to be a part of adult movie industry; may be as a choice of their career or for little bit extra monetary gains. But in India this is still a very far-sighted thing.


    About the woman in discussion, I have my take to share with you. In my personal opinion, I don’t assume that somebody would like to be an adult movie star or say take it as a career option or as you called dream career. An individual may like to try it as ‘lets’-experience’ adventurous ride but not otherwise.

    I am also not interested to take up the family acceptance thing here, so I choose to skip that part. (Which does not mean that I don’t agree with decision of parents in this post). It’s a whole together different thing.

    About Pappu, well I think it was a general and an obvious response. No matter what people may say, at the end of the day, they will think at least once to dip their fork into her plate. (Nice phrase. I like it. )

    I am also among them but you know what would be the very second thought in my mind? I would tell myself that heck she is not a down-market prostitute. She may have her reasons to be an adult movie star but that does not mean that she is open to all.

    I also have a question for you. You wrote a whole post on defending your friend and shared your views about the subject matter. But you never watched your same friends’ adult movie. Why is that? If you can take a stand for her move than why can’t you be a stake-holder in what she do.


    Looking forward to your response.

    Love,
    Aditya Bhasin

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  19. i completely agree with the concluding paragraph..i think lotta people need to change there thinking..and everyone has the right to make there on decisions and others should just accept them..very well written as always leo..and very intresting too

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  20. elegantly conveyed the point you wanted to say.....
    Good post

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  21. Now I've seen everything. I know choosing the profession we love is our choice and nobody else have a right to voice their opinion on the work that we do. But after reading your post I was speechless to see this side of an ambition in a woman. I always thought they chose this profession as a means to make money and not for anything else. Well I guess I was wrong. people's interests vary!!
    Nicely penned.

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  22. Porn industry is huge and its not how what we think it is, they are humans too.. after all majority of people watch porn , it is a profession.

    if she has been working abroad then it is dones asthetically , if you know what i mean, I mean who are we to say anything when we see how our leaders are caught watching porn .. :)

    Bikram's

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  23. in the words of joey,

    you must watch that cd and appreciate your friend's acting or let others appreciate it

    lol

    :D

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  24. Some people are so brave! Wow! A porn star, imagine the stigma..she's got balls, and I don't mean it literally!

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  25. I am a first timer here...and I absolutely loved this blog post. Lucky you have a friend who is frank and open. Lucky is she who has a friend like you...
    I feel everyone has a right to live their life the way they want...only one has to take care that they don't disturb others.
    I just remembered that one my friends once said that she had a fantasy...I asked her what? she replied "threesome"
    well...

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  26. I have read all the comments but i still find it difficult;t to say anything because firstly i dont know anything about this career & secondly social mores & moral codes differ with time & place...i am nobody to judge anyone ...each to his/her own liking.

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  27. Those are just the finest specimens of hypocritical lechers who would get maximum bang by watching pornographical flicks, but fail to repect the artists behind the scene. Sadly, they are in droves out there.

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  28. Appreciate her confidence and she exactly know what she is upto. Great to know about such a character, that too being a woman.
    Being a first timer, liked your writing. Keep it up.

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  29. Interesting post. Not sure what to say though. I know I should be politically right and say I respect her and all that. I won't long for her like your friends. But don't think I would be able to force my heart to show respect to such a person.

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  30. Can you imagine, I read the whole post without leaving a single word!!! Yeah,the stupid society has marked some job as good and others as bad...If its her dream, let her go with it.And I appreciate her boldness too :)

    Regards
    village girl

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  31. Nice, actually I have always thought of porn industry as something people had to enter as they have no other choice, like financially. But this is unexpected. Moreover she chose to be one thats simply gutsy and in my opinion thats how one should live. Great

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  32. it was interesting... seeing the last paragraph i thot u shud have written more... i mean it interested me to know more about it... Good post... I am actually speechless and i simply thot till now that it might be all due to some bad circumstance that a person has entered a porn industry but yes it can also be an aspiration :)

    Cheers!!!
    http://whatsupbollywood.wordpress.com/

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  33. Very impressive post...Everyone has a right to choose what they want to be...thinking will change may be along with time....though it'll be a slow movement.

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  34. Though I do not agree with the profession of being a porn star, neither am I happy for Liva. I hope that she's not in it for the money or in the hopes that she could break into the movie industry. If she loves porn and that's why she wanted to do, then kudos to her.

    Your entire post proves one thing though, that we shouldn't be stereotyping people, like you had said, she maybe a porn star but she would definitely not sleep with someone for money. A person does have the right to choose what they want to do, but I wish they stayed away from certain things.

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  35. very interesting......and thoughtful, Im sure if it were were a guy from the porn industry, your friends would certainly have asked different questions!!!

    And I agree about being respectful!!

    http://sushmita-smile.blogspot.in

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  36. I am shocked as much as you were, or as anybody here would be!
    It's time we realize that people who take up profession need not be the same in true life!
    A very out-of-the-box post!
    Thanks, indeed for posting it!

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  37. A mind blowing article and a good one at that!
    Porn star as a profession is something very hard to digest for an Indian, but I guess its because most mix it with prostitution which is not true. The way it has evolved and transformed into a worthy job is no joke.

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  38. I suddenly rememberd poonam pandey who supported sunny leone and also was on news stating Porn should be legal in India too!
    Well if its an easy way of money and she is good in nothin else then may be its the only choice!
    But I dont see any reason why or how can some body be really happy with that career unless until they r in it badly badly for money!

    Well I guess am not from this generation!

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  39. Interesting post...great read! I'm speechless :)

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  40. She is not ashamed of what she is doing. That's what everyone should do. She always wanted to be a porn star. She chased her dream. We should also chase our dreams.
    Nice post. Nicely narrated. :) :)

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  41. I am shocked too, but not in a bad way :) I like the comparison to Nigella.

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  42. Shocking...I had different opinion but when you said "As long as she perceives it as an achievement, I too will and I'm happy for her." I could understand her point. :)

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  43. M visit to your blog and I am impressed by your writing style and topic choices.Very well written post and the thoughts and predicaments put across exquisitely.

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  44. i am glad you chose to write and publish this.

    Cheers
    Ritz...

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  45. Forgot to mention the best part is the proud title of your post !

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  46. Interesting post. I must admit I liked it. Choosing your career is your personal choice.

    Great read!

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  47. "Pappu pulled out a pen started to calculate on a tissue paper. Counting the number of zeros from right to left, he let out his desperation: “Oh! I cant even think of it.”..."
    made me laugh like hell...hahahaha poor pappu...i would suggest him to switch his career if he is looking for money! :)

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  48. You know, Leo I had kept seeing the titles of your posts. But the font sizes on indiblogger and titles I was afraid you were one of those bloggers who used topics to get attention and wrote brazenly on sensitive issues. So I did not dare to read your blog...thinking I would be upset. But quite recently I read one of your comments at another blog--which was perhaps the sweetest and the kindest comment I had ever read and I wondered who you were and if I had misunderstood. I am so glad I came here today to read in depth--you are fantastic blogger, Leo--thoughtful, kind, accepting--I think in real life also you must be a fantastic guy!!! Write on...:):) And you have a faithful reader from now on!

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  49. :) thank you Bhvana. Coming from a person and blogger like you, I'm honored.

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  50. I completely agree with you.
    Our minds are 60 years behind our bodies.

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  51. to each one his or her own.... :) whether a porn star, or a teacher, or a corporate executive... all deserve to be treated with dignity.

    Do stop by my blog sometime :)

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  52. Superb post and i wish you could let us know who she is.. I mean we should make sure her dreams are alive and kicking right!! But still clueless on what to react. Yet again man superb post.

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  53. It was very useful for me. Keep sharing such ideas in the future as well. This was actually what I was looking for, and I am glad to came here! Thanks for sharing the such information with us.

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  54. Hi, Really great effort. Everyone must read this article. Thanks for sharing.

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